Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Beagle of Mass Destruction

Being a young, spirited dog, I like to chew on stuff. I have these big canine teeth, and it's just natural that I'd want to shred things with them. Now, apparently this can be an issue when I chew on things that I'm not supposed to, and since I don't know how to tell the difference, much trouble can arise.

You see, humans can probably tell the difference between a dog toy and an expensive blanket from Restoration Hardware (they do buy the stuff after all), but I'm a dog, so how am I supposed to know?

So far I've, ah, innocently misconstrued a few items as dog toys:

1 nice blanket
3 shoe sole inserts
1 sandal
2 dog beds*
1 carpet in neighbor's bedroom
1 pond skimmer filter pad
3 pond plants
5 issues of Newsweek
2 photo albums
1 crossword puzzle book
2 floormats
1 roll of heavy duty foil
7 rolls of toilet paper
1 french baguette
1 Camelbak drinking tube
11 pairs of underwear
1 bra

* Granted, I should probably know they were for sleeping on, but I wasn't sleeping on them at the time so they were fair game

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