Chicks Dig Me

It's not easy being as good looking as I am. You'd think it'd be the coolest thing ever, but it can be a bit tiresome sometimes. Case in point, I met this Labradoodle named Honey the other day, and within like 2 minutes she's trying to make out with me! Can't say I blame her, but man, that's a little forward even by dog standards, don't you think?


I tried to get away from her, and she just kept running after me. That's one crazy bitch!


In the end I had to howl at her and try to explain that under-age Poodle mixes really aren't my thing and that I just want to be friends. Hopefully that did the trick, otherwise I might need a restraining order for this one.


(photos courtesy of Honey's Dad)

Still No Sign of My Nuts :-(

I guess they're gone for good. I searched all over the house and the yard, nothing. Oh well, they were a pain to lick anyway, plus I think they used to get me in trouble sometimes, so perhaps it's a good thing that they're gone.

Mom & Dad's New Secret Weapon

There I was, up on the kitchen counter sniffing around for food, and all of a sudden, BAM! A direct hit from a water pistol! BAM! Another one! Apparently Mom & Dad are actually serious about not wanting me up on the counters and stealing food. And then they used another one on me when I got up on their bed. Fine, I can take a hint.

Of course, I'm smart enough to realize that they can only do that while they're home. If they're away, you can expect to find me lounging on their bed, savoring the wonderful buttery flavor of a croissant that I stole from the kitchen...

The Crate Escape

Screw you guys, I just let myself out of the crate! That's right, clever little me figured out how to unhook the back wall of my crate and push it over just enough so I could sneak through. Like I said, I'm smarter than Uno. And did I mention that I'm also better looking?

You should have seen the look on Mom's face when she got home. She gets out of her car and there I am sitting on the window seat instead of inside my crate!

I had fun running around the house on my own, but I was a really good dog and didn't do anything that would have upset Mom and Dad. I spent most of the time sleeping on the window seat (it was nice and sunny today).

Dude, Where Are My Nuts???

So I was just licking myself and I noticed that both of my nuts are missing! What the...? I remember seeing them there a few weeks ago.

Perhaps they fell off while I was playing. As soon as Mom and Dad get home and let me out of the crate, I'm gonna have to go search for them in the backyard.

Dad's Sneaky

For some odd reason, Mom and Dad make me stay in my crate while they're out. Frankly, I think I'd be fine roaming the house all by myself. There'd be plenty of things to keep me entertained such as jumping onto the kitchen counters looking for food, chewing on various household objects, sleeping on their bed, and removing stuffing from any cushions I can find. And then of course there's the trash can...

I really don't like going into the crate because it means that they'll be leaving me. I guess I have what they call separation anxiety, which is no suprise given what I've been through recently. I'm okay once they're actually gone, it's just the departure and return that freak me out a bit.

Dad figured out how to lure me into the crate with food, but I'm learning his tricks so today I resisted temptation and didn't go in. But then Dad pretended to eat the treats in my crate and I just couldn't help myself. Dad's a sneaky one, I guess that's why he's an Alpha instead of me.

Huh?

According to us dogs, everything we come across can usually be categorized as being either:

- Dog
- Human
- Edible
- Chewable
- Chaseable (and then perhaps edible and/or chewable)
- Diggable

But every now and then I come across something that just doesn't fit my canine view of the world. Last night Mom and Dad were cleaning the house, and they brought out this strange thing that smelled a bit like me and made strange growling and hissing noises. They took it for a walk all over the house. Oh, and it had a long string hanging out of its butt, just like the hedgehog only it didn't jiggle when they pulled it out. I barked at it a few times, but it didn't seem to care. What was that thing???

I Love Snow!

Apparently it's a little unusual to get 8 inches of snow in Chicago in late March, but I'm not complaining, I love it! There's just something really fun about running through the snow, sticking my whole head in it, and eating snowballs. The other really nice thing about snow is that it makes it so much easier to keep track of where I've peed already.

Yesterday we went sledding and I had so much fun chasing the kids as they slid down the hill. I also went down a few times with Dad (he sat on a sled while I helped to make him go faster).

Damn, I'm a Smart Dog

So Dad gives me this new toy today that looks kinda like a hedgehog (though between you and me, it's not fooling anybody). Anyway, the toy has this string hanging out of its butt, and I figured out that if you pull on it, the hedgehog starts to jiggle. Pretty cool, huh? I was so excited that I ripped off its nose and tried to eat it (had to barf it back up a few minutes later).

I can't say that I've ever encountered a real hedgehog with string hanging out of its butt, but at least I'll now know what do if that ever happens.

I'm A High-Tech Hound!

I'm not sure if dogs are supposed to have blogs, but I figured us canines are just as deserving of a little social networking, although I prefer to think of it as virtual butt sniffing.



Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Elston and I'm a Beagle. I was recently given up to a local shelter by my old family in southern Illinois because they were 'moving' (like that's a good excuse to get rid of me, those bastards!). Anyway, I was picked up by an adoption organization in Chicago, and that's how my new family found me and adopted me on March 2, 2008.

My new owners seem pretty cool, though they're being totally obnoxious about keeping me off their bed. It's become a test of endurance; I figured if I just keep jumping up there and act all cute and cuddly, they're bound to cave eventually, right? Granted, they did get me a nice dog bed and placed it right next to theirs, but we all know that human beds are just better (as evidenced by the fact that they never sleep on the dog bed).

The last few days have been pretty exciting. Yesterday I figured out that if I stand on the window seat in the kitchen, I can jump from there onto the adjacent countertop! Yeah, baby! I was a bit bummed out that there weren't big slabs of meat or anything up there, but one of these days there might be...

And this morning I discovered that the round white thing that they sit on is actually a really fancy water dish. I have absolutely no idea why they sit on it (you don't see me sitting on my dish). I must admit it's a little tall for a dog like me, but the water was nice and cold. For some reason Dad got all mad about it and put the cover down; c'mon guys, can't you share?

Well, that'll do it for today, I'm exhausted (typing on a laptop keyboard with dog paws is a major PITA).