It's Not Just Me...

At least there's one human out there that hates Halloween as much as I do, and apparently so does her dog:

Why I Hate Halloween

It's That Time Of Year Again

It's getting colder outside, the leaves are falling, the kids are back in school, and all over the country, innocent dogs have to suffer the indignity and humiliation of looking like this chump:



That's right folks, it's time for a friendly reminder that despite how much you'd like it to be, Halloween is not a holiday celebrated by dogs. In fact, we freakin' loathe it.

For openers, there's the costumes. If you guys want to dress up like pirates, slutty nurses or vampires, go right ahead. But please remember that just because you like to parade yourself around the neighborhood looking like a total douche, it doesn't mean your dog does too.

And then there's the decorations. What you humans don't seem to realize is that even seemingly harmless things can be scary to some dogs; just ask Captain, he's afraid of baby strollers for crying out loud! So just think about that 20-foot tall inflatable Frankenstein you just stuck on your front lawn; some poor Pug's gonna walk by that thing and poop all over the ridiculous ballerina costume his owner made him wear...

Damn, Damn Skunk

A note to all you canines out there: if you get hit by a skunk, scratching does not get the smell out. In fact, it'll probably just give you some bad infected skin rashes that they make you wear one of these ridiculous things for.

Damn Skunk

It's been a few days since that skunk sprayed me in the face, and of course the smell is still there. Dad washed me really well right after it happened, and that did get most of it out, but not all of it.

It's worse when I get wet, but it's always lingering. And seeing as my nose is soooo good at detecting smells, well, you can imagine how much this sucks. I've tried scratching, licking, rolling on the grass, but it's still there. Dad says he'll check the pet store and see if they have any skunk cleaner that he can use on my face, I really hope he finds something. :-(

What An Exciting Day!

6:00am - Woke up and ate breakfast
6:10am - Went back to sleep
10:00am - Nap with Mom and Gabriella
1:35pm - Barfed
4:45pm - Went to the dog park
6:07pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from some woman who was eating and chatting on her phone at the dog park
6:08pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from the same woman's daughter
6:10pm - Left the dog park
9:15pm - Cornered a skunk in the back yard and got sprayed in the face
9:20pm - Bath time

My Baby Sister

Mom and Dad disappeared for a couple nights this week and I got to stay at my friend Muffin's house, but when they returned on Friday night they had a baby with them! At first Mom and Dad wouldn't let me too close to her, but once I stopped jumping up and acting like a crazy dog, they finally let me sniff her a bit.

She's very cute, and her name is Gabriella. She smells great, and I sneaked in a quick lick on her hair today and she tastes good too. Now whenever I come in from outside, the first thing I do is to figure out where she is so I can make sure she's okay. All she does right now is to eat, sleep and poop, so we have quite a bit in common.

My New Friend, Gunner

Dad took me to the dog park today. It was pretty dead when we first got there, but later on Captain and his owner arrived with their new dog Gunner. Gunner's a Beagle mixed with a Boston Terrier, but I don't hold that against him. He's only six months old and loves to chase and wrestle almost as much as I do. And the mud was pretty good too! Awesome. :-)

Best Dog Park Visit EVER!

Yesterday we finally had some nice weather in Chicago, so Dad took me to the dog park. It was awesome! I saw a bunch of my friends including Red the Basset Hound and Roscoe the Rat Terrier (he's a lot more pleasant now that's no longer humping everything) and I made some new ones too. And the mud is starting to develop a nice consistency.

I had so much energy, it took 2 hours and 15 minutes of running around like a crazy dog to wear me out! And I think I wore Dad out in the process. ;-)

Coffee Is Awesome!

A few weeks ago I noticed a cup on Dad's nightstand containing this strange-smelling hot liquid. Never one to pass up an opportunity for mischief, I drank a little, decided it tasted pretty good, so I went ahead and drank the rest. Weird part is, I was all jumpy for next 4 hours.

Turns out this strange substance is called 'coffee'. The other day I discovered that it's also available in a dry powdered form, but I like the taste of the liquid version much better.

Mom's Gonna Have A Litter!

I was snuggling with Mom on the bed today and noticed a second heartbeat coming from her belly. Seems a little strange that there's just the one instead of five or six, but whatever. I guess that explains all the strange things going on around here.

Now I'm Really Confused

Okay, so what the heck is this thing supposed to be? Things are starting to get just plain weird around here....

Worried About Mom & Dad

I'm kinda worried about Mom and Dad right now. They're acting really strange and keep referring to this imaginary person who doesn't have name (they just call it 'Junior'). Incidentally, dogs don't have imaginary friends, but we do bark at imaginary rabbits every once in a while.

Mom's been sleeping a lot. And eating a lot. And peeing a lot. And Dad's been making this big list of home improvement projects to tackle (even longer than usual).

Not sure what to make of all this...