Elston's Beagle Blog

I Haz Acquired...

2010-05-31T17:47:00.000-07:00

the wonderful smokey odor of rendered brisket fat. That is all.

I Love You, Man!!!

2010-05-13T18:47:00.001-07:00

Sparkee and I have finally forgiven each other for our, ah, transgressions. We just had great time chasing each other through the yard and play fighting. It had been over a week and both of us had a ton of energy built up, so it felt so good to play together again.

Any dogs can fight, but only real dog friends forgive each other.

The Big Fight

2010-05-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

As anyone who's seen a Jude Apatow movie knows, the big fight and subsequent falling out are a key part of the bromance genre. And sadly, Sparkee and I got into a huge fight earlier this week.

At this point I don't even remember what the fight was about, all I remember is that we beat the crap out of each other for about 10 minutes before our humans were finally able to break us up. Sparkee gave me a nice gash near my eye, and I think I gave Sparkee a nice gash on his side. And both our ears got pretty torn up.

It's been a few days now and I really miss my friend. :-( Hopefully there'll be a happy ending just like in the movies.

The Beagle Bromance

2010-03-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a few weeks since Sparkee moved in next door, and I gotta tell you, it's been a blast!

If we're both outside, one of our humans will open the gate between our yards so we can play together. And now that the weather's warming up, we've been playing for two or three hours a day. :-)

And the other weekend Sparkee stayed at our house for a few nights while his family went on a trip. We got to play together all day long and then take a nice long naps by the sunny kitchen window.

I haven't been to the dog park in weeks cause I really don't need any more exercise. I'm sure all my friends are wondering where I am, but I guess that's what happens when you're in a 'beagle bromance'.

Sparkee!!!

2010-03-01T06:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon I went to my neighbor's house with the rest of my family (nothing unusual there), but this time there was doggy there! And not just any dog... another Beagle!!! His name is Sparkee and he's really fun to play with, we had a blast chasing and wrestling in the snow (he's the Beagle on the left).

I'm not sure if he was just visiting or if this is his new home. He was outside with the kids again this morning, so I'm really hoping that he's here for good (I'm keeping my paws crossed).

It's Not Just Me...

2009-10-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

At least there's one human out there that hates Halloween as much as I do, and apparently so does her dog:

Why I Hate Halloween

It's That Time Of Year Again

2009-10-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

It's getting colder outside, the leaves are falling, the kids are back in school, and all over the country, innocent dogs have to suffer the indignity and humiliation of looking like this chump:

That's right folks, it's time for a friendly reminder that despite how much you'd like it to be, Halloween is not a holiday celebrated by dogs. In fact, we freakin' loathe it.

For openers, there's the costumes. If you guys want to dress up like pirates, slutty nurses or vampires, go right ahead. But please remember that just because you like to parade yourself around the neighborhood looking like a total douche, it doesn't mean your dog does too.

And then there's the decorations. What you humans don't seem to realize is that even seemingly harmless things can be scary to some dogs; just ask Captain, he's afraid of baby strollers for crying out loud! So just think about that 20-foot tall inflatable Frankenstein you just stuck on your front lawn; some poor Pug's gonna walk by that thing and poop all over the ridiculous ballerina costume his owner made him wear...

Damn, Damn Skunk

2009-08-31T18:44:00.000-07:00

A note to all you canines out there: if you get hit by a skunk, scratching does not get the smell out. In fact, it'll probably just give you some bad infected skin rashes that they make you wear one of these ridiculous things for.

Damn Skunk

2009-08-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days since that skunk sprayed me in the face, and of course the smell is still there. Dad washed me really well right after it happened, and that did get most of it out, but not all of it.

It's worse when I get wet, but it's always lingering. And seeing as my nose is soooo good at detecting smells, well, you can imagine how much this sucks. I've tried scratching, licking, rolling on the grass, but it's still there. Dad says he'll check the pet store and see if they have any skunk cleaner that he can use on my face, I really hope he finds something. :-(

What An Exciting Day!

2009-08-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

6:00am - Woke up and ate breakfast
6:10am - Went back to sleep
10:00am - Nap with Mom and Gabriella
1:35pm - Barfed
4:45pm - Went to the dog park
6:07pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from some woman who was eating and chatting on her phone at the dog park
6:08pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from the same woman's daughter
6:10pm - Left the dog park
9:15pm - Cornered a skunk in the back yard and got sprayed in the face
9:20pm - Bath time

My Baby Sister

2009-07-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad disappeared for a couple nights this week and I got to stay at my friend Muffin's house, but when they returned on Friday night they had a baby with them! At first Mom and Dad wouldn't let me too close to her, but once I stopped jumping up and acting like a crazy dog, they finally let me sniff her a bit.

She's very cute, and her name is Gabriella. She smells great, and I sneaked in a quick lick on her hair today and she tastes good too. Now whenever I come in from outside, the first thing I do is to figure out where she is so I can make sure she's okay. All she does right now is to eat, sleep and poop, so we have quite a bit in common.

My New Friend, Gunner

2009-05-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

Dad took me to the dog park today. It was pretty dead when we first got there, but later on Captain and his owner arrived with their new dog Gunner. Gunner's a Beagle mixed with a Boston Terrier, but I don't hold that against him. He's only six months old and loves to chase and wrestle almost as much as I do. And the mud was pretty good too! Awesome. :-)

Best Dog Park Visit EVER!

2009-05-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we finally had some nice weather in Chicago, so Dad took me to the dog park. It was awesome! I saw a bunch of my friends including Red the Basset Hound and Roscoe the Rat Terrier (he's a lot more pleasant now that's no longer humping everything) and I made some new ones too. And the mud is starting to develop a nice consistency.

I had so much energy, it took 2 hours and 15 minutes of running around like a crazy dog to wear me out! And I think I wore Dad out in the process. ;-)

Coffee Is Awesome!

2009-04-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I noticed a cup on Dad's nightstand containing this strange-smelling hot liquid. Never one to pass up an opportunity for mischief, I drank a little, decided it tasted pretty good, so I went ahead and drank the rest. Weird part is, I was all jumpy for next 4 hours.

Turns out this strange substance is called 'coffee'. The other day I discovered that it's also available in a dry powdered form, but I like the taste of the liquid version much better.

Mom's Gonna Have A Litter!

2009-04-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

I was snuggling with Mom on the bed today and noticed a second heartbeat coming from her belly. Seems a little strange that there's just the one instead of five or six, but whatever. I guess that explains all the strange things going on around here.

Now I'm Really Confused

2009-02-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, so what the heck is this thing supposed to be? Things are starting to get just plain weird around here....

Worried About Mom & Dad

2009-02-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda worried about Mom and Dad right now. They're acting really strange and keep referring to this imaginary person who doesn't have name (they just call it 'Junior'). Incidentally, dogs don't have imaginary friends, but we do bark at imaginary rabbits every once in a while.

Mom's been sleeping a lot. And eating a lot. And peeing a lot. And Dad's been making this big list of home improvement projects to tackle (even longer than usual).

Not sure what to make of all this...

The Glass In My Ass

2008-11-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

My friend Muffin is staying with us for a few days, and his food was in a glass storage bowl sitting on the kitchen counter, so naturally I knocked it to ground and it broke into lots of pieces. In my frantic effort to eat as much of the food as I could, I accidentally ate a piece of glass.

Mom took me to the vet right away and they took an x-ray (not sure what that means) and the glass was sitting there right in my stomach. Dad took me back the next morning an it had moved into my colon. The vet dude said that was a good sign and it should pass through without any problems since there was a lot of food to buffer it (see, it's a good thing that I'm a pig!)

Note To Self:

2008-09-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

If you chew on those cable thingies sticking out of the wall, they sting... a lot.

Tummy Ache

2008-09-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

I found me some Oreo cookies while I was alone today. They were on a really high shelf and I guess Mom & Dad didn't think I could get to them... suckers! I'd never had Oreos before, and they were pretty tastey so I ate almost the entire bag.

Dad came home and seemed really concerned about it and he called the vet. Next thing I know, he gives me this funky tasting liquid and a few minutes later I'm barfing up all those tastey Oreos. And to make matters even worse, he cleaned it all up before I had a chance to eat them again! Bummer.

Now I have a bad tummy ache and a sugar-buzz hangover.

Been Working Out, I'm Huge!

2008-07-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

Back in March when I started this blog and had just been adopted, I weighed in at a scrawny 22 pounds. Well, between the great dog food that Mom & Dad feed me and all the exercise, I'm now a solid 29.3 pounds, and it's all muscle baby! Yeah, I'm one sexy beagle.

Gotta Lay Off The Mud

2008-07-16T14:14:00.001-07:00

I had a lot of fun in the mud over the last few weeks, and it finally caught up with me. A few days ago one of my ears starting itching, and then I got this sore on my neck. The sore got pretty irritated, so Mom took my to the vet and it turns out I have a bacterial ear infection and a bacterial 'hot spot' infection on my neck. Hmmm, I wonder where that bacteria could have come from? Could it possibly have been the digusting mud pools that I've been playing in?

I got an antibiotic shot at the vet (that hurt), and there are some creams that Mom & Dad put on my neck a few times a day, so hopefully I'll be all better in a few days.

Bad Ass Beagle

2008-07-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

You know those solid metal choke-chain collars? Well, I'm such a bad ass that I broke mine. Fear me.

Beagle of Mass Destruction

2008-06-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

Being a young, spirited dog, I like to chew on stuff. I have these big canine teeth, and it's just natural that I'd want to shred things with them. Now, apparently this can be an issue when I chew on things that I'm not supposed to, and since I don't know how to tell the difference, much trouble can arise.

You see, humans can probably tell the difference between a dog toy and an expensive blanket from Restoration Hardware (they do buy the stuff after all), but I'm a dog, so how am I supposed to know?

So far I've, ah, innocently misconstrued a few items as dog toys:

1 nice blanket
3 shoe sole inserts
1 sandal
2 dog beds*
1 carpet in neighbor's bedroom
1 pond skimmer filter pad
3 pond plants
5 issues of Newsweek
2 photo albums
1 crossword puzzle book
2 floormats
1 roll of heavy duty foil
7 rolls of toilet paper
1 french baguette
1 Camelbak drinking tube
11 pairs of underwear
1 bra

* Granted, I should probably know they were for sleeping on, but I wasn't sleeping on them at the time so they were fair game

Mud Lovers Unite!

2008-06-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yes! This weekend I finally met some other dogs at the park who love mud as much as I do. See, I'm not crazy, I just have 'special' tastes. These other guys had a great time in the mud with me. I was quite impressed by the guy who dipped his entire head in, that dude's pretty hardcore!

The Joy of Mud

2008-06-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend I discovered mud at the dog park. I seem to have a natural affinity for the stuff. Like moths are drawn to a flame, and Labs are drawn to water, I am drawn to mud. The other dogs (including my buddy Rufus) just don't seem to understand.

Guess What? I Can Swim!

2008-05-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

So I was at the dog park playing with a Jack Russell Terrier, and she decides to go swimming in the pond. I'm not sure what got into me, but I couldn't just stand there and look like a chump, so gave it a shot and waddya know, I can swim!

Photo courtesy of Honey's Dad

Or watch the movie.

The Dog Park

2008-05-31T11:47:00.000-07:00

As cool and the Dog Beach is, there's actually a place that's even cooler. It's a huge 44-acre dog park where dogs can run free in a natural setting. I love it. Every time I go, I find a cool dog to hang out with and we have a great time chasing each other, wrestling, and trying to out-pee each other.

I Love My New Family

2008-05-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

It's taken me a while to get over my last family, but I'm starting to like my new one even better. Mom & Dad take great care of me, and even though they yell at me when I do bad things, I still love them a lot.

One of my favorite things is to take a nap with Mom or Dad on the window seat; I get to curl up next to them which makes me feel very safe and secure.

Dog Beach

2008-04-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

Dad took me for a ride to this really cool place today. It's a beach, only it's just for dogs (they do allow people there as long as they're accompanied by a dog). The whole area is fenced in so I can't go wandering off to follow a scent trail, but that's ok because there's plenty there to keep me happy. I met a few other dogs there and we had a great time running around and wrestling on the sand.

One of them actually went into the water to chase after a toy; pretty bizarre, huh? I've seen dogs go swimming before, and quite frankly I think they have some serious mental issues. I'll go into the water up to my knees, but that's as far as I'll go.

Yay! They Came Back!

2008-04-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad came back and picked me up. :-) I'm so relieved to be home with them again. I was getting a little anxious, so I started tearing up the towels and toys that the people there had given me. But overall it wasn't a bad experience since I got three walks and three play sessions every day, and it was fun chatting with some of the other dogs there.

I'm am really tired though; it was tough sleeping with the nagging fear of abandonment and that annoying Schnauzer fella who snored like a chainsaw...

Uh Oh

2008-04-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

Dad dropped me off at this place on Thursday and hasn't been back since. It's a pretty nice place, there are lots of other doggies and I get three walks and three play sessions every day, but I'm getting a little worried. You don't think they abandoned me, do you? I really hope not, I was starting to really enjoy living with them (except for getting squirted with the water pistol).

I'm Pooped

2008-04-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was a fun weekend. It's finally warming up in Chicago and I spent most of the weekend outside. I played with Mom & Dad, chased squirrels, went for a walk with three other dogs from the neighborhood, dug a big hole in backyard, destroyed a ball, ate pond algae, and I even got to eat a tiny bit of the ribs that Dad smoked on Sunday.

Today I'm resting.

Best Toy Ever!

2008-04-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Like most dogs, I love my toys. The ones that squeak are fun, but the best ones involve food. I have this orange ball that Mom and Dad put bits of my food in. I have to roll it around, throw it, and spin it in order to get the food out, but my favorite trick is to toss it down the stairs.

Still Not High Enough

2008-04-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

Being as amazingly agile as I am, I've been able to jump over that pathetic little gate that leads from the carport to the backyard. It was about 30 inches high when I first got here, and that was a piece of cake!

Then Dad made it about 36 inches, and that was a little tougher but I figured out how to get over that too! Last night I heard him say something about "48 inches ought to do the trick"... bring it on!

Well, Duh!

2008-04-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad have finally figured out that I'm much happier out of my crate while I'm alone. I guess they were worried that I might gnaw on furniture, drink cleaning products, chew on electrical cords, and pee on their bed (granted, I might have done that about 6 months ago, but I'm past that stage now).

After I escaped from my crate and was perfectly fine, I think they realized that I might do ok. So this week they started leaving me alone out of my crate for a few hours at a time, and I've done really well so far. And I'm not nearly as freaked out when they get home, either.

Chicks Dig Me

2008-03-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

It's not easy being as good looking as I am. You'd think it'd be the coolest thing ever, but it can be a bit tiresome sometimes. Case in point, I met this Labradoodle named Honey the other day, and within like 2 minutes she's trying to make out with me! Can't say I blame her, but man, that's a little forward even by dog standards, don't you think?

I tried to get away from her, and she just kept running after me. That's one crazy bitch!

In the end I had to howl at her and try to explain that under-age Poodle mixes really aren't my thing and that I just want to be friends. Hopefully that did the trick, otherwise I might need a restraining order for this one.

(photos courtesy of Honey's Dad)

Still No Sign of My Nuts :-(

2008-03-28T14:17:00.001-07:00

I guess they're gone for good. I searched all over the house and the yard, nothing. Oh well, they were a pain to lick anyway, plus I think they used to get me in trouble sometimes, so perhaps it's a good thing that they're gone.

Mom & Dad's New Secret Weapon

2008-03-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

There I was, up on the kitchen counter sniffing around for food, and all of a sudden, BAM! A direct hit from a water pistol! BAM! Another one! Apparently Mom & Dad are actually serious about not wanting me up on the counters and stealing food. And then they used another one on me when I got up on their bed. Fine, I can take a hint.

Of course, I'm smart enough to realize that they can only do that while they're home. If they're away, you can expect to find me lounging on their bed, savoring the wonderful buttery flavor of a croissant that I stole from the kitchen...

The Crate Escape

2008-03-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

Screw you guys, I just let myself out of the crate! That's right, clever little me figured out how to unhook the back wall of my crate and push it over just enough so I could sneak through. Like I said, I'm smarter than Uno. And did I mention that I'm also better looking?

You should have seen the look on Mom's face when she got home. She gets out of her car and there I am sitting on the window seat instead of inside my crate!

I had fun running around the house on my own, but I was a really good dog and didn't do anything that would have upset Mom and Dad. I spent most of the time sleeping on the window seat (it was nice and sunny today).

Dude, Where Are My Nuts???

2008-03-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

So I was just licking myself and I noticed that both of my nuts are missing! What the...? I remember seeing them there a few weeks ago.

Perhaps they fell off while I was playing. As soon as Mom and Dad get home and let me out of the crate, I'm gonna have to go search for them in the backyard.

Dad's Sneaky

2008-03-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

For some odd reason, Mom and Dad make me stay in my crate while they're out. Frankly, I think I'd be fine roaming the house all by myself. There'd be plenty of things to keep me entertained such as jumping onto the kitchen counters looking for food, chewing on various household objects, sleeping on their bed, and removing stuffing from any cushions I can find. And then of course there's the trash can...

I really don't like going into the crate because it means that they'll be leaving me. I guess I have what they call separation anxiety, which is no suprise given what I've been through recently. I'm okay once they're actually gone, it's just the departure and return that freak me out a bit.

Dad figured out how to lure me into the crate with food, but I'm learning his tricks so today I resisted temptation and didn't go in. But then Dad pretended to eat the treats in my crate and I just couldn't help myself. Dad's a sneaky one, I guess that's why he's an Alpha instead of me.

Huh?

2008-03-24T07:15:00.000-07:00

According to us dogs, everything we come across can usually be categorized as being either:

- Dog
- Human
- Edible
- Chewable
- Chaseable (and then perhaps edible and/or chewable)
- Diggable

But every now and then I come across something that just doesn't fit my canine view of the world. Last night Mom and Dad were cleaning the house, and they brought out this strange thing that smelled a bit like me and made strange growling and hissing noises. They took it for a walk all over the house. Oh, and it had a long string hanging out of its butt, just like the hedgehog only it didn't jiggle when they pulled it out. I barked at it a few times, but it didn't seem to care. What was that thing???

I Love Snow!

2008-03-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

Apparently it's a little unusual to get 8 inches of snow in Chicago in late March, but I'm not complaining, I love it! There's just something really fun about running through the snow, sticking my whole head in it, and eating snowballs. The other really nice thing about snow is that it makes it so much easier to keep track of where I've peed already.

Yesterday we went sledding and I had so much fun chasing the kids as they slid down the hill. I also went down a few times with Dad (he sat on a sled while I helped to make him go faster).

Damn, I'm a Smart Dog

2008-03-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

So Dad gives me this new toy today that looks kinda like a hedgehog (though between you and me, it's not fooling anybody). Anyway, the toy has this string hanging out of its butt, and I figured out that if you pull on it, the hedgehog starts to jiggle. Pretty cool, huh? I was so excited that I ripped off its nose and tried to eat it (had to barf it back up a few minutes later).

I can't say that I've ever encountered a real hedgehog with string hanging out of its butt, but at least I'll now know what do if that ever happens.

I'm A High-Tech Hound!

2008-03-20T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if dogs are supposed to have blogs, but I figured us canines are just as deserving of a little social networking, although I prefer to think of it as virtual butt sniffing.

Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Elston and I'm a Beagle. I was recently given up to a local shelter by my old family in southern Illinois because they were 'moving' (like that's a good excuse to get rid of me, those bastards!). Anyway, I was picked up by an adoption organization in Chicago, and that's how my new family found me and adopted me on March 2, 2008.

My new owners seem pretty cool, though they're being totally obnoxious about keeping me off their bed. It's become a test of endurance; I figured if I just keep jumping up there and act all cute and cuddly, they're bound to cave eventually, right? Granted, they did get me a nice dog bed and placed it right next to theirs, but we all know that human beds are just better (as evidenced by the fact that they never sleep on the dog bed).

The last few days have been pretty exciting. Yesterday I figured out that if I stand on the window seat in the kitchen, I can jump from there onto the adjacent countertop! Yeah, baby! I was a bit bummed out that there weren't big slabs of meat or anything up there, but one of these days there might be...

And this morning I discovered that the round white thing that they sit on is actually a really fancy water dish. I have absolutely no idea why they sit on it (you don't see me sitting on my dish). I must admit it's a little tall for a dog like me, but the water was nice and cold. For some reason Dad got all mad about it and put the cover down; c'mon guys, can't you share?

Well, that'll do it for today, I'm exhausted (typing on a laptop keyboard with dog paws is a major PITA).