Elston's Beagle Blog

It's Not Just Me...

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:17:00 +0000

At least there's one human out there that hates Halloween as much as I do, and apparently so does her dog:

Why I Hate Halloween

It's That Time Of Year Again

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:16:00 +0000

It's getting colder outside, the leaves are falling, the kids are back in school, and all over the country, innocent dogs have to suffer the indignity and humiliation of looking like this chump:

That's right folks, it's time for a friendly reminder that despite how much you'd like it to be, Halloween is not a holiday celebrated by dogs. In fact, we freakin' loathe it.

For openers, there's the costumes. If you guys want to dress up like pirates, slutty nurses or vampires, go right ahead. But please remember that just because you like to parade yourself around the neighborhood looking like a total douche, it doesn't mean your dog does too.

And then there's the decorations. What you humans don't seem to realize is that even seemingly harmless things can be scary to some dogs; just ask Captain, he's afraid of baby strollers for crying out loud! So just think about that 20-foot tall inflatable Frankenstein you just stuck on your front lawn; some poor Pug's gonna walk by that thing and poop all over the ridiculous ballerina costume his owner made him wear...

Damn, Damn Skunk

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:44:00 +0000

A note to all you canines out there: if you get hit by a skunk, scratching does not get the smell out. In fact, it'll probably just give you some bad infected skin rashes that they make you wear one of these ridiculous things for.

Damn Skunk

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 13:30:00 +0000

It's been a few days since that skunk sprayed me in the face, and of course the smell is still there. Dad washed me really well right after it happened, and that did get most of it out, but not all of it.

It's worse when I get wet, but it's always lingering. And seeing as my nose is soooo good at detecting smells, well, you can imagine how much this sucks. I've tried scratching, licking, rolling on the grass, but it's still there. Dad says he'll check the pet store and see if they have any skunk cleaner that he can use on my face, I really hope he finds something. :-(

What An Exciting Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:48:00 +0000

6:00am - Woke up and ate breakfast
6:10am - Went back to sleep
10:00am - Nap with Mom and Gabriella
1:35pm - Barfed
4:45pm - Went to the dog park
6:07pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from some woman who was eating and chatting on her phone at the dog park
6:08pm - Stole and ate half a sandwich from the same woman's daughter
6:10pm - Left the dog park
9:15pm - Cornered a skunk in the back yard and got sprayed in the face
9:20pm - Bath time

My Baby Sister

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 01:45:00 +0000

Mom and Dad disappeared for a couple nights this week and I got to stay at my friend Muffin's house, but when they returned on Friday night they had a baby with them! At first Mom and Dad wouldn't let me too close to her, but once I stopped jumping up and acting like a crazy dog, they finally let me sniff her a bit.

She's very cute, and her name is Gabriella. She smells great, and I sneaked in a quick lick on her hair today and she tastes good too. Now whenever I come in from outside, the first thing I do is to figure out where she is so I can make sure she's okay. All she does right now is to eat, sleep and poop, so we have quite a bit in common.

My New Friend, Gunner

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Fri, 29 May 2009 02:55:00 +0000

Dad took me to the dog park today. It was pretty dead when we first got there, but later on Captain and his owner arrived with their new dog Gunner. Gunner's a Beagle mixed with a Boston Terrier, but I don't hold that against him. He's only six months old and loves to chase and wrestle almost as much as I do. And the mud was pretty good too! Awesome. :-)

Best Dog Park Visit EVER!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sun, 03 May 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Yesterday we finally had some nice weather in Chicago, so Dad took me to the dog park. It was awesome! I saw a bunch of my friends including Red the Basset Hound and Roscoe the Rat Terrier (he's a lot more pleasant now that's no longer humping everything) and I made some new ones too. And the mud is starting to develop a nice consistency.

I had so much energy, it took 2 hours and 15 minutes of running around like a crazy dog to wear me out! And I think I wore Dad out in the process. ;-)

Coffee Is Awesome!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:25:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I noticed a cup on Dad's nightstand containing this strange-smelling hot liquid. Never one to pass up an opportunity for mischief, I drank a little, decided it tasted pretty good, so I went ahead and drank the rest. Weird part is, I was all jumpy for next 4 hours.

Turns out this strange substance is called 'coffee'. The other day I discovered that it's also available in a dry powdered form, but I like the taste of the liquid version much better.

Mom's Gonna Have A Litter!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:04:00 +0000

I was snuggling with Mom on the bed today and noticed a second heartbeat coming from her belly. Seems a little strange that there's just the one instead of five or six, but whatever. I guess that explains all the strange things going on around here.

Now I'm Really Confused

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:53:00 +0000

Okay, so what the heck is this thing supposed to be? Things are starting to get just plain weird around here....

Worried About Mom & Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 13:09:00 +0000

I'm kinda worried about Mom and Dad right now. They're acting really strange and keep referring to this imaginary person who doesn't have name (they just call it 'Junior'). Incidentally, dogs don't have imaginary friends, but we do bark at imaginary rabbits every once in a while.

Mom's been sleeping a lot. And eating a lot. And peeing a lot. And Dad's been making this big list of home improvement projects to tackle (even longer than usual).

Not sure what to make of all this...

The Glass In My Ass

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:18:00 +0000

My friend Muffin is staying with us for a few days, and his food was in a glass storage bowl sitting on the kitchen counter, so naturally I knocked it to ground and it broke into lots of pieces. In my frantic effort to eat as much of the food as I could, I accidentally ate a piece of glass.

Mom took me to the vet right away and they took an x-ray (not sure what that means) and the glass was sitting there right in my stomach. Dad took me back the next morning an it had moved into my colon. The vet dude said that was a good sign and it should pass through without any problems since there was a lot of food to buffer it (see, it's a good thing that I'm a pig!)

Note To Self:

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:52:00 +0000

If you chew on those cable thingies sticking out of the wall, they sting... a lot.

Tummy Ache

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:30:00 +0000

I found me some Oreo cookies while I was alone today. They were on a really high shelf and I guess Mom & Dad didn't think I could get to them... suckers! I'd never had Oreos before, and they were pretty tastey so I ate almost the entire bag.

Dad came home and seemed really concerned about it and he called the vet. Next thing I know, he gives me this funky tasting liquid and a few minutes later I'm barfing up all those tastey Oreos. And to make matters even worse, he cleaned it all up before I had a chance to eat them again! Bummer.

Now I have a bad tummy ache and a sugar-buzz hangover.

Been Working Out, I'm Huge!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:48:00 +0000

Back in March when I started this blog and had just been adopted, I weighed in at a scrawny 22 pounds. Well, between the great dog food that Mom & Dad feed me and all the exercise, I'm now a solid 29.3 pounds, and it's all muscle baby! Yeah, I'm one sexy beagle.

Gotta Lay Off The Mud

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:14:00 +0000

I had a lot of fun in the mud over the last few weeks, and it finally caught up with me. A few days ago one of my ears starting itching, and then I got this sore on my neck. The sore got pretty irritated, so Mom took my to the vet and it turns out I have a bacterial ear infection and a bacterial 'hot spot' infection on my neck. Hmmm, I wonder where that bacteria could have come from? Could it possibly have been the digusting mud pools that I've been playing in?

I got an antibiotic shot at the vet (that hurt), and there are some creams that Mom & Dad put on my neck a few times a day, so hopefully I'll be all better in a few days.

Bad Ass Beagle

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:33:00 +0000

You know those solid metal choke-chain collars? Well, I'm such a bad ass that I broke mine. Fear me.

Beagle of Mass Destruction

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:29:00 +0000

Being a young, spirited dog, I like to chew on stuff. I have these big canine teeth, and it's just natural that I'd want to shred things with them. Now, apparently this can be an issue when I chew on things that I'm not supposed to, and since I don't know how to tell the difference, much trouble can arise.

You see, humans can probably tell the difference between a dog toy and an expensive blanket from Restoration Hardware (they do buy the stuff after all), but I'm a dog, so how am I supposed to know?

So far I've, ah, innocently misconstrued a few items as dog toys:

1 nice blanket
3 shoe sole inserts
1 sandal
2 dog beds*
1 carpet in neighbor's bedroom
1 pond skimmer filter pad
3 pond plants
5 issues of Newsweek
2 photo albums
1 crossword puzzle book
2 floormats
1 roll of heavy duty foil
7 rolls of toilet paper
1 french baguette
1 Camelbak drinking tube
11 pairs of underwear
1 bra

* Granted, I should probably know they were for sleeping on, but I wasn't sleeping on them at the time so they were fair game

Mud Lovers Unite!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:23:00 +0000

Yes! This weekend I finally met some other dogs at the park who love mud as much as I do. See, I'm not crazy, I just have 'special' tastes. These other guys had a great time in the mud with me. I was quite impressed by the guy who dipped his entire head in, that dude's pretty hardcore!

The Joy of Mud

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 21:14:00 +0000

This weekend I discovered mud at the dog park. I seem to have a natural affinity for the stuff. Like moths are drawn to a flame, and Labs are drawn to water, I am drawn to mud. The other dogs (including my buddy Rufus) just don't seem to understand.

Guess What? I Can Swim!

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:53:00 +0000

So I was at the dog park playing with a Jack Russell Terrier, and she decides to go swimming in the pond. I'm not sure what got into me, but I couldn't just stand there and look like a chump, so gave it a shot and waddya know, I can swim!

Photo courtesy of Honey's Dad

Or watch the movie.

The Dog Park

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Sat, 31 May 2008 18:47:00 +0000

As cool and the Dog Beach is, there's actually a place that's even cooler. It's a huge 44-acre dog park where dogs can run free in a natural setting. I love it. Every time I go, I find a cool dog to hang out with and we have a great time chasing each other, wrestling, and trying to out-pee each other.

I Love My New Family

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 29 May 2008 04:45:00 +0000

It's taken me a while to get over my last family, but I'm starting to like my new one even better. Mom & Dad take great care of me, and even though they yell at me when I do bad things, I still love them a lot.

One of my favorite things is to take a nap with Mom or Dad on the window seat; I get to curl up next to them which makes me feel very safe and secure.

Dog Beach

noreply@blogger.com (Elston) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:17:00 +0000

Dad took me for a ride to this really cool place today. It's a beach, only it's just for dogs (they do allow people there as long as they're accompanied by a dog). The whole area is fenced in so I can't go wandering off to follow a scent trail, but that's ok because there's plenty there to keep me happy. I met a few other dogs there and we had a great time running around and wrestling on the sand.

One of them actually went into the water to chase after a toy; pretty bizarre, huh? I've seen dogs go swimming before, and quite frankly I think they have some serious mental issues. I'll go into the water up to my knees, but that's as far as I'll go.